If you've got anything to say here, then post it.
Okay, I've got to be egotistical and start with quotes that I often use.
Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons. --The Simpsons, JonC
Sha, and monkeys MIGHT fly out of my butt! --Wayne's World, JonC
Ah yes... a Jedi's weapon... --Return of the Jedi, JonC
Fire at will commander... I guess Will is dead. --Return of the Jedi... JonC
Impressive... most impressive --The Empire Strikes Back, JonC
Oh really? Is that what you think? Well, if that is what you think, I have something to tell you which may shock and discredit you. And that thing is... I am not wearing a tie at all. --The Simpsons, JonC
Life sucks --Ed H.
I want to go home --Ed H.
Meow. --Haley
Don't any of you DARE quote me on this but... Haley is right. --Brain, Sorry Brain, but you gotta admit, you were totally asking for it.
High School Dropout and Proud.
--EEP T-Shirt
Posted by: JonC
Will Study for Food.
--EEP T-Shirt
Posted by: JonC
Quit calling me Doogie %$*@^! Howser
--EEP T-Shirt
Posted by: JonC
What if, what if? Yeah, well what if a cow flies over and
poops on your lips?
--OG Middle School's PE teacher, JonC
Posted by: JonC
That went as well as could be expected
--Wallace, of Wallace and Gromit
Posted by: Brain
Luther...I am the Holy Father...Join me...Together we can
rule the Church as Holy Father and Son...
--Pope Vader, said to Luther Skywalker
Posted by: Brain
When the complexity of a conspiracy exceeds the point
beyond which justice can hold it accountable in the system then a
state of free clan destine reign is acheived indefinitely
--Brain's Uncle
Posted by: Brain
I'll kill you, I'll kill all of you, especially
those of you in the jury!
--Simpsons, JonC
Posted by: JonC
Damn you, damn you all to hell!
--Planet of the Apes, Simpsons, JonC
Posted by: JonC
Ah, whatta gip, mine didn't come with any barf in it.
--Animaniacs, JonC
Posted by: JonC
"You're already dead"
--Fist of The North Star
Posted by: Gene Yo
I am a very gay person
--JonC
Posted by: JonC
I love other guys
--JonC
Posted by: JonC
I love boys
--JonC
Posted by: JonC
I am a nerd that skipped high school and am proud of being
smarter that all of you people.
--JonC
Posted by: JonC
When's lunch?
--Brain and/or Steve and/or James.
Posted by: Walker
"Just because I'm a genius doesn't mean that I'm not great
in bed. In fact, my IQ isn't the biggest thing about me!"
--Tony, during a drunken stupor
Posted by: Tina, wiping up vomit
"Uhhhh.....What's deodorant?"
--Alex Ko while stinking up the room
Posted by: Tony Nguyen
Ways of gaining the audiences attention: Nudity
--Brain (excerpted from Speech Study Guide)
Posted on Sep 3, 1997, 02:29 by: EEPster
Informative purposes: to gain money, status or sex
--Brain (Speech Study Guide
Posted on Sep 3, 1997, 02:44 by: EEPster
"Smart Kids, Big Johnsons"
--Chris Chien, rejected EEP T-shirt idea
Posted on Sep 3, 1997, 21:55 by: Sandwich
"We're not smart, you're just stupid."
--Tony Nguyen, rejected EEP t-shirt idea
Posted on Sep 4, 1997, 22:03 by: Tony Nguyen
"Hello!!!! We are Tony's mipples!!!"
--Tony acting stupid in a high-pitched voice
Posted on Sep 4, 1997, 22:06 by: Tina, just plain disgusted at this point
Take off your pants
--Gene to Phong, both of whom are guys... quote taken extremely
out of context
Posted on Sep 4, 1997, 23:39 by: JonC
"are you lookin at my bum?! bum-looker, cheeky-monkey!"
--Simon who likes to do drawings of course.
Posted on Sep 9, 1997, 22:29 by: Ivy, anti-christ of Paulytheism
(but also inexplicably catholic (nun?) baptized by brain
"Ya Know What? I'm NUTS!!!"
--Tina to Rich as she sat wearing Leland's hat
Posted on Sep 11, 1997, 21:13 by: Tina " i mean i have nothing better to do"
I am the master seaman!
--Andrew (as captian of the "Gilded vessel, TOTALLY out of character)
Posted on Sep 13, 1997, 06:42 by: 8-P
Alvin is a whole man while CrisB is 1/8th and Brain is 1/4.
--Summary of the ravings of our favorite kitty, at which point she
asked Brain to marry her...don't ask me!
Posted on Sep 13, 1997, 06:43 by: 8-P
" In dealings with Rich... you're fucked!"
--Tina to anyone on any occasion
Posted on Sep 15, 1997, 21:44 by: A Good Listener
"The weird thing about Rich is that when he's paying you, he
actually expects you to do something."
--Tony while trying to avoid responsiblity
Posted on Sep 15, 1997, 21:41 by: Tony
Waaaaaaaahhhh
--me
Posted on Sep 16, 1997, 22:56 by: Z
"I don't care what you think, but you eepsters...
I love you all!! All of you, i want you to take me home with
you and love me forever."
--Me
Posted on Sep 21, 1997, 01:23 by: Tina, please love me, no one else does
*eyebrow* Indeed.
--Given to you when your actions are.....questionable.
Posted on Sep 22, 1997, 01:16 by: Davey, the MrOAE
You think I have a God complex? I am God.
--Ed Hsieh (God), I think it's also from some movie.
Posted on Sep 23, 1997, 01:01 by: Ed Hsieh, who else?
"Trying to have fun with a quiet person is like trying to
jumpstart a rock!"
--Tony while having a moment of frustration
Posted on Sep 24, 1997, 02:43 by: Tony Nguyen
Yum Yum Chilli Yum Yum Chilli illi Yum Yum
--An old commercial
Posted on Sep 27, 1997, 12:34 by: Ed Hsieh
"Little babies have little baby feet that are sooooo funny!!"
--Tina, on a daily basis (If you don't get it, you obviously haven't
lived with her)
Posted on Sep 28, 1997, 02:04 by: Tina (Just trying to spread the joy!)
"I am a woman!"
--James
Posted on Oct 2, 1997, 01:38 by: James, hehehe
Disneyland is a Fascist state!
--Haley; It came from a friend but i love it.
Posted on Oct 4, 1997, 00:58 by: Meowcomet
"The Only People Who Think We're Jerks Are Those That
Can't Fight Back."
--"Nguyen Family Motto"
Posted on Oct 5, 1997, 01:26 by: The Eldest Son
"It doesn't matter who does the work, but who gets the credit"
--"Nguyen Family Motto"
Posted on Oct 5, 1997, 01:28 by: The Eldest Son
"It's better to be a living coward than to be a dead hero."
--"Nguyen Family Motto"
Posted on Oct 5, 1997, 01:49 by: The father and clan leader
"The greatest and most unforgiving crime is disloyalty
to one's blood."
--"Nguyen Family Motto"
Posted on Oct 5, 1997, 01:31 by: The father and clan leader
Ooo, caffeine!
--Betty in the process of getting TOO happy from a cappucino blast.
Posted on Oct 6, 1997, 20:57 by: Betty, Caffeine Lover, MoAE
The good thing about spending time with Brain is that he is so subtle
--Joe at dinner tonight...I don't want to know the story behind
this comment
Posted on Oct 9, 1997, 01:04 by: Guess! (As if that will be difficult)
"Ouch..."
--Generalissimo Lister, after running full speed into a tree
Posted on Oct 11, 1997, 03:29 by: Anonymous
"Hey, the tree and I called it a draw!!"
--Generalissimo Lister, on the possible defeat by a tree
Posted on Oct 11, 1997, 03:50 by: Anonymous
"Love is..... a cheap word used by charming guys to con
innocent girls into sleeping with them"
--The Female Avenger
Posted on Oct 11, 1997, 21:34 by: Salvation for All Women from
EVIL MALE SLIME!!!
"Yeah...don't pretend like you don't like it...I know you want me."
--From the Original Male Slimeball to the Female Avenger
Posted on Oct 12, 1997, 16:02 by: Mr. Slimeball representing men everywhere
"I believe I have the dubious recognition of being the
laziest person ever to graduate through the Early Entrance Program."
--Jacob Lister, graduate
Posted on Oct 13, 1997, 01:03 by: Anonymous
"What do you do when someone won't respond to your e-mails?
Even when you continuously ask them to, and they continuously say that
they will?"
--An Angry EEPster
Posted on Oct 14, 1997, 01:34 by: Just a person that was there
"DUMP THE BASTARD!!!!!"
--A solution for every problem
Posted on Oct 14, 1997, 01:54 by: The solution person
My good twin is out there somewhere, probably ruining my
reputation. I'm surprised none of you have seen him.
--Jacob Lister, warning people about deception by a
"Good Jacob Lister"
Posted on Oct 16, 1997, 02:30 by: Anonymous
"Oh Cub-Cub, you're sooo special!!" (but i've always thought that)
--Duh!!!
Posted on Oct 25, 1997, 22:44 by: Guess Silly-Billy-Goo-Goo
What's a c!nt?
--Betty, interrupting a completely normal conversation.
Edited for content by JonC due to complaints
Posted on Oct 31, 1997, 12:42 by: -= { Z } =-
" Ya know what Z? There's no need for that kinda trash
on this page. This is a nice, clean place, and there is
abso-fucking-lutly no need for that dirty talk!"
--Tina (of course)
Posted on Nov 1, 1997, 22:04 by: Catholic #2
"I'm an independent woman."
--Suzanne
Posted on Nov 7, 1997, 15:01 by: Suzanne "Wonder woman extrodinaire"
"Well I'm a dominant man...Let's get together babes."
--Tony
Posted on Nov 8, 1997, 13:49 by: "The Last of The Great Neanderthals"
"I love cars."
--???
Posted on Nov 8, 1997, 18:21 by: ???
one more thing: you GO suzanne.
--women rule.
Posted on Nov 8, 1997, 23:19 by: me again
"I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love and she thinks I'm a wonderful Guy!!"
--Tony- singing about another one of his many "bad-homed" Arts High girls
Posted on Nov 22, 1997, 01:49 by: Who the hell do you think?
"Silly customer, you cannot hurt the twinkie!"
--Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. The Simpsons.
Posted on Nov 28, 1997, 21:18 by: V
"No,please stop Rich! Stop! I don't wanna do that!
I don't wanna put that in there!! Help!! Help!!"
--Anonymous Violated EEP Student
Posted on Nov 29, 1997, 02:03 by: Rich said don't tell
"Ed's the dominant one in our relationship."
--Davy Alfon, MrOAE, on his relationship with Ed Hsieh
Posted on Dec 1, 1997, 00:03 by: An eyewitness
"That's why we all love Davy,"
--Haley, at a later moment that night
Posted on Dec 1, 1997, 00:07 by: An eyewitness
"Hey, stay away from my man!"
--Ed Hsieh, following Haley's comment
Posted on Dec 1, 1997, 00:10 by: An eyewitness
Damn!! That guy has a cute butt
--JonC
Posted on Dec 23, 1997, 16:35 by: JonC
Whoops, I dropped the soap!
--JonC
Posted on Dec 23, 1997, 16:35 by: JonC
never stand on your head while having rocks in your pockets.
--red_night homepage http://www.geocities.com/southbeach/sands/6794
Posted on Dec 24, 1997, 14:20 by: red_night
"Brian, do you love me? ...can I come over tonight? ...I need my pants back! ... please Brian, I need my clothes."
--Andrew on the telephone.
Posted on Dec 24, 1997, 22:36 by: Wouldn't you like to know.
Unless I'm wrong... which I never am...
--The Princess Bride, JonC
Posted on Jan 5, 1998, 17:46 by: JonC
Am I right, or am I right?
--JonC, incidentally, the proper response is "No, you're left."
Posted on Jan 5, 1998, 17:47 by: JonC
No, you're left.
--The proper response
Posted on Jan 14, 1998, 01:13 by: Fill in the blank
Pizza is the staff of life.
--Detective Jones - "Fallen"
Posted on Jan 18, 1998, 15:39 by: James
My fort kicks ass.
--Daniel Green(?) in a subdued voice after just constructing a pillow fort on the EEP room couch.
Posted on Jun 7, 1998, 14:29 by: James!!!!!
JonC, I don't think the post command on your odd-longer-than-one-line quotes is working correctly. I made a post about how you should combine that page and this page, because nobody uses the long quotes page. And then I got off on a long tangent about that god-awful picture red night put up, and now I decided to put up my own picture, and it's off to the left.
--Oops, I'm getting a little bit lengthy in my one-liners...
Posted on Jun 10, 1998, 02:54 by: Monsieur le Marquis de Lister
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
--Woody Allen, from My Speech To The Graduates...why couldn't we have gotten HIM for commencement?
Posted on Jul 24, 1998, 03:41 by: Adam, bored and cruising the web/reading EEPster profiles/looking for porn...you know, the usual.
Hey, JonC, nobody's posted here in quite a while, so I'm putting another pic up. Enjoy! Good luck on finals, everybody!
Remember: Lhasa Ehmo Consultants
We solve your problems... permanently.
--Wouldn't you like to know...
Posted on Dec 8, 1998, 02:58 by: Lhasa Ehmo
"That pizza was GOOOOOOOOOD"
--Daniel Greene, commenting to Tina on the quality of WPC testing pizza.
Posted on Dec 12, 1998, 16:51 by: Tinager
Giblets: righteous, substantial, and oh so smooth.
--Jon Rheuben, resident psychopath
Posted on Jul 7, 1999, 01:54 by: Anonymous
I'm ashamed to be associated with any of you.
--the token
Posted on Sep 22, 2000, 16:52 by: nikki
No, wait a minute. I take it back. Ashamed is just my natural state of being.
--altair's 7-year fiancee
Posted on Sep 22, 2000, 16:56 by: nikki